Click!

Picture the scene. This is a CP prairie division point. It is first light. A westbound extra is waiting for an eastbound to arrive before it can commence its run. You can see a long way on the prairies and the headlight of the westbound has been in view for a couple of minutes. It doesn't seem to be getting any closer. Then over the radio, we hear the following:

"Head end of extra ——— to the tail end. We've just gone into emergency. Probably a hose bag. I'll send the brakeman back to fix it."
"OK."

There is then a pause of a couple of minutes.

"Head end to the brakeman. Have you found the trouble?"

All we can hear is a loud CLICK.

"Head end to the brakeman. Have you found the trouble?"
CLICK.
"Head end to the brakeman. I am not receiving your transmission and I assume your radio is not working. If you can hear me click once for NO and twice for YES."
CLICK, CLICK.
"Have you located the problem?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Is the air hose parted?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Can you fix it?"
CLICK.
"Do you want me to come back and help?"
CLICK.

There was a pause while the engineer figures out what to ask next.

"Has the train parted?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Do you want me to back up to recouple?"
CLICK.

Again, a pause.

"Do we have a derailment?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Do we have one car off?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Do we have two cars off?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Do we have three cars off?"
CLICK, CLICK.
"Click your radio once for each car we have off."

The air waves were filled with the sound of the brakeman clicking his radio as fast as he can. The next words heard should not be repeated in company!

It turned out that they had put 43 cars on the ground!

The crew of the westbound, who had been enjoying the sitcom over the radio looked at each other, sighed deeply, picked up their lunch pails and climbed off their engine. As they trudged back to the Yard Office, they wondered out loud how long it would be before they would get to take out that particular train.

Bytown Railway Society, Branchline, September 1988.

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